Beer #959-1,001 / Day #153-157: Rarefied Air - The Quest For Beer #1000

"They’re men, dear. If they stop competing, then they die.” – JoBeth Williams in “The Big Year”

Upon the conclusion of my original 2013 Big Year In Beer, I publicly laid out the ground rules for the Big Year which I would again be pursuing in 2014.  At least two of my friends, that I’m aware of, accepted it as a challenge and successfully kept pace ahead of me for the first five months of this year.  I blogged my frustrations about trailing behind two men who I considered to have substantial advantages over me:  1. Randy Carncross for working at a brew pub and attaining endless access to new beer all day every day.   2. Chris W. who quite honestly can afford to purchase every beer in the Western Hemisphere, and has the temperament to stow them all away in his stomach in mass quantities... kinda like a Conehead except he’s not as pointy. 

The original Three. Too bad there's no breweries on Attu.

After this past weekend in Paso at the Firestone Walker Invitational Beer Festival, and a few additional tastings along the way, I greatly increased my numbers.  I was sure that I had finally pulled into the lead ahead of both Randy and Chris, and before I knew it I was 42 beers short of the magical milestone of 1,000. 

1,000 different beers. It’s an arbitrary number, and there’s no prize, so why does hitting 1,000 seem like such a big deal?  I have no idea.  It just does.  

Another selfie? I thought you'd never ask!

Being the first to reach quadruple digits is like Neil Armstrong stepping onto the lunar surface.  It’s uncharted territory, and many will follow, but there is a certain satisfaction knowing you’re the first. 

With this milestone in mind, I pushed myself this week to sample more than I ordinarily would on an average week.  The last thing I need is some pesky pal sneaking up and hitting 1,000 before me.  Each day I was focused on my goal, with the eye of the tiger, and the belly of a hobo.  Establishments serving affordable flights and tasters were my only chance to barrel through 42 different beers during the week. 

I launched my attack:

*Tony’s Darts Away, Burbank – Two visits, some of the best beer around and one of my favorite spots which constantly rotates their selection.

*Infest practice – My weekly band practice. I asked Matt Domino to bring a couple singles of what he brands “American Shit Lager”. He brought some shit, that’s for sure, but I still sampled it, and it was new to my list.

BJ's: Turns out the name is false advertising

*BJ’s, Burbank – They serve a long list of proprietary brews.  I dropped in at 10:45pm on a Tuesday evening for a nitecap after practice, thinking it would be a quiet place for a couple flights. The place was packed, for no reason.  Apparently this is where Burbankeans go to party.  Bleached blonde whores, dumpy geeks, muscular bros in Affliction gear, old Armenian families, you name it… maybe everyone doesn’t need a beer as much as I do, but clearly everyone needs a Pazookie.

*Boneyard Bistro, Studio City – When the boss says he wants to take you out after work, you say “Yes”, but the deal is even sweeter when it’s at a place with constantly changing primo taps & incredible BBQ, and you’re watching your home team in the Stanley Cup. All of the planets were aligned in my favor.

*Vendome Liquors, North Hollywood – Harley the Cicerone is a saint for organizing multiple beer tastings that are both varied and affordable. He recently started a program of New Release tastings every Thursday.  Perfect timing for me.

With focus and determination, despite my woes and self-pity, halfway into the year I’ve now pulled into the lead.  I’m the first to reach Beer #1,000 in 2014. 

Am I the new Mozart?

Or Sandy Komito?

Or Sir Edmund Hillary? 

Maybe not. But the 1,000s are rarefied air, especially this early in the year.
Follow me if you must, but be sure to hire a Sherpa.

The beering continues....

6/2 – Tony’s Darts Away samplers, and one at home

959 – LAGUNITAS SF FUSION DOUBLE IPA – Full bodied with a lingering hoppy finish.

Tony's is No baloney

960 – CORONADO HOPPY DAZE IPA – After SF Fusion this one almost tastes rural, like a hoppy wheat field.  Great stuff.

961 – GOLDEN ROAD GET UP OFFA THAT BROWN WITH COFFEE ON CASK – Cask conditioning seems to take the acidic bite away from the coffee, resulting in a cleaner coffee beer. Dangerously easy to drink. I could chug this all day.

962 – MODERN TIMES BLACK HOUSE BOURBON OATMEAL COFFEE STOUT – First off, a Modern Times beer not from a can?  Cool.  Second, Tony’s Darts Away serves this at the perfect temp… not too cold, and not as warm as the cask beer above. I’m tasting the subtleties of everything in the name of this beer, and I’m guessing they would be buried if it was served too cold. Truly an outstanding beer.

963 – GOLDEN ROAD DART’S AWAY IPA – Nice one! Crisp hop bite, heavy dense orangey citrusness

964 – HAVEN BREWING UNFILTERED IPA – Mellow mouthfeel, sharp hop presence. I haven’t had any of Haven’s proprietary beers in over a year, and clearly they’ve stepped up their game. The best Haven beer to date.

From the sublime to the ridiculous

965 - STRAND BREWING HARVEST BALL ORANGE WITBEER – Deep orange color, refreshing, I had this while swimming on a hot summer’s eve.

6/3 – A good one at home, two bad ones at Infest practice, eight decent tasters at BJ’s

966 - HUMBOLDT BREWING 500 B.C. DOUBLE IPA – As majestic as an ancient redwood, this is a mighty imperial that towers over the rest

967 - KING COBRA MALT LIQUOR – I feel like I should be wearing baggy shorts and spray painting graffiti

968 - MILLER BREWING STEEL RESERVE 211 – Unparalleled excellence in brewing… but enough talk about Three Floyds…

969 - BJ'S JEREMIAH RED – Mildly fruity for a red.  So-so.

970 - BJ'S HOPSTORM IPA – Maybe more of a light sprinkle, but mildly hoppy and better than expected.

971 - BJ'S HAPPY SCOTSMAN – Limited release, served too cold, but it’s a much better beer when it warms up. A mild Scottish ale with barely detectable hops.

972 - BJ'S TATONKA STOUT – Again, decent when it warms up a bit, chocolatey smooth maltiness, would make a nice ice cream float

Boneyard frivolity

973 - BJ'S GOLIATH IMPERIAL RED ALE – Their best offering, hop forward and wonderfully dense mouthfeel

974 - BJ'S PIRANHA PALE ALE – moderate hop definition, pretty good

975 - BJ'S NUTTY BREWNETTE – heavy roasted malts, perty good

976 - BJ'S PM PORTER – on nitro, smooth and roasty, as nutty as the brown

6/4 – First Kings/Rangers Stanley Cup game, happy co-workers, many samplers at Boneyard Bistro

977 - HESS BREWING JUCUNDUS WHEAT ALE – Decent wit, nice & orangey

978 - MONKISH BREWING GALAXY DEFENDER PALE ALE – Tasty Belgian style pale ale

979 - EL SEGUNDO BREWING HOP TANKER DOUBLE IPA – El Segundo just keeps crankin’ out the superior IPAs. This one is a Double. Keep that conveyor belt rollin’, guys…

980 - DOUBLE MOUNTAIN MOLTEN LAVA DOUBLE IPA – Didn’t really dig their standard IPA, but this Imperial wins some Brownie points.

981 - NOBLE ALE WORKS ENGLISH 101 – Solid, nutty English strong ale

Boneyard samplers in front of actual bones

982 - EL SEGUNDO BREWING STATION NO. 1 AMBER – Shit, they just keep releasing all good stuff. I need to get off my ass & visit El Segundo already.

983 - BROUWERIJ ST. BERNARDUS ABT 12 BELGIAN QUAD -  Sweet, fruity, malty powerhouse of a Belgian quad.  Too good.

984 - ALESMITH RAMBLIN' RYE – Superior, rich, malty, deep brown rye beer.

985 - THE BRUERY HOTTENROTH – Supposed to be a Berliner Weisse, but I’m not getting the typical sourness. There’s some pucker from the heavy lemon, but it’s more like a summer shandy.

986 - ALESMITH SUMMER YULESMITH – The mother effin’ bomb of Double IPAs.

987 - HESS BREWING HABITUS RYE BEER – Very grain-forward, if that makes any sense. Tastes like a field of rye being stone ground for the bread maker. Very good.

988 - CUVEE DE JACOBINS ROUGE – Whoa, good and SOUR, mildly funky like an old red wine.

989 - SCALDIS NOEL – A nice, muscular Belgian Strong.  Super sweet malts, anise, chocolate.

990 - REISSDORF KOLSCH – Excellent! Damn rich for a kolsch. This is what beer should be.

God bless you Harley the Cicerone

991 - ST. LOUIS GUEUZE FOND TRADITION – Horrifically weird.  Major pucker with a blender full of green beans. Super odd. Can’t shake the funk and the spicy green veggie aftertaste.

6/5 – Vendome, Harley the Cicerone’s excellent new release beer tasting, and a so-so bottle at home

992 – BELCHING BEAVER RABID BEAVER BITE RYE IPA – Great bite, creamy mouthfeel, evenly balanced hops and rye, love it!

993 – STONE ENJOY BY 7-04-14 DOUBLE IPA – As perfect as all others in the series.  Enjoy NOW!

994 – BOULDER BREWING 35TH ANNIVERSARY BLACK IPA– Big, roasted malt and hop collision.  Excellent!

995 – STONE STOCHASTICITY QUADROTRITICALE – Slightly sweet, slightly fruity, rich quad that isn’t too heavy or syrupy, just right

996 - OMMEGANG GAME OF THRONES FIRE AND BLOOD RED ALE - I dunno, I don't really dig it. The previous G.O.T. beers were solid, but this one has some wobbly legs on it.

#999 - A pint of Alpiney perfection

6/6 - A few more at Tony's and a big finale at home with the family on a Friday night. This is how it should be:

997 - BEAR REPUBLIC CUVEE DE BUBBA - A sour that lies somewhere between a Sweet Tart and bubble bath soap. I don't love it.

998 - SIERRA NEVADA HOPTIMUM - Their seasonal Double IPA that I look forward to every year. One of the best.

999 - ALPINE HOPPY BIRTHDAY - Never had this one, and never seen it on tap until two days ago. Thanks to Green Flash helping them boost production their Southland distribution is much wider. That said, who knows if this one will end up as limited as most of their other famous IPAs, so instead of a sampler glass, I ordered a full pint at Tony's.  It's on par with their other A-List IPAs. 

1000 - ALPINE PURE HOPPINESS - Complete & utter hop supremacy from SoCal's most sought after brewery.

1001 - INLAND EMPIRE BREWING PEPIN THE SHORT PORTER - Never heard of this brewer before, and I bought this on a whim because it was something new, and it was inexpensive.  I wasn't expecting much, but thankfully I was proven wrong.  Like, really wrong. Big time.  This is a fantastic, well-rounded, full-bodied, deliciously roasty, chocolatey, portly porter.  Now I'm determined to seek out their other releases.

You mean someone beat 732?

IPAs with INFEST: Beer #8-13 / Day 2

Day 2 of my Big Year In Beer was supposed to be the day when I would take it easy.  But then Matt Domino came into the picture.  I play in a band with Matt called INFEST.  Because of the holidays, our usual Tuesday night practice was moved to Thursday. Before practice, Matt, Joe Denunzio, and I always meet somewhere first. Tonight it was Tony's Darts Away.  "All Craft. All Draft. All California." is their motto.  I love Tony's, and any beer aficionado worth their salt loves Tony's.  I was trying to dry out a bit from New Year's Day, so it wasn't my idea.  But I also can't say "No", when someone suggests Tony's. And when Domino is involved, there is no such thing as "a quick one".
The room was packed, as usual.  The only free tables were outside. It was a perfect evening, but in LA everyone breaks out their heavy parkas and mittens whenever the temperature dips below 64 degrees, so we practically had the patio to ourselves.

Domino waxes philosophical.

I kicked off the night with the ST-FEUILIEN / GREEN FLASH COLLABORATION BELGIAN COAST IPA - Beer #8.  A hint of that Belgian floral thing going on, but still a solid IPA.  Sometimes these beers served in tulip glasses can go over the top with the whole dollar-store-perfume smell.  This one was a winner.
While Domino dished up his weekly dose of Life Lessons, I took a sip of his EAGLE ROCK BREWERY POPULIST IPA - Beer #9.  Sweet Jesus, what a great IPA.  The last few times I've had it, I didn't want anything else.  One of the best in LA.  Mildly skunky, definitely a brew for Real Men... like guys who work with machinery.  Men like Joe Denunzio, who then made his appearance. This silverback gorilla of a human always meets up with us, but usually doesn't drink before practice, but tonight was the exception.

Horrifying.

My second round was the NOBLE ALE WORKS BIG WHIG IPA - Beer #10, another well-done, SoCal IPA.  This Anaheim operation has really been stepping it up across the board lately.  I'd pick this any day, if I could find it more regularly.
I helped myself to a taste of Joe's GOLDEN ROAD BREWING GET UP OFFA THAT BROWN - Beer #11.  This is his go-to beer at Tony's. In general, I don't love brown ales, but this one has made me a believer in recent years.

North Hollywood: the center of sadness

As the time approached 9pm, clearly we needed to get to practice quickly before drummer Bob "Crazy Legs" Kasitz decided to lock the door and teach us a lesson for being late.  Somehow, we took the long way to Casa de Crazy Legs, and ended up stopping yet again.  The evening had degenerated from The Raddest Beer Pub On Earth to The Saddest Liquor Store On Earth.  Somewhere in North Hollywood, and exactly what you would expect from a random liquor store in North Hollywood.  Sad.  Lonely.  Depressing.  An outpost for the dregs of humanity... so, of course, we were there. But like most sad liquor stores nowadays, they actually carry a few decent beers. I opted for the bomber of FIRESTONE UNION JACK IPA - Beer #13.

World's Shittiest Beer.  Confirmed.

We finally arrived at our destination, and Bob was uncharacteristically not pissed off at us. We set up, and before I had a chance to crack the Union Jack, I had a taste of Matt's ANHEUSER-BUSCH BUD LIGHT & CLAMATO CHELADA - Beer #12, a blend of three things I would never willingly drink... Bud Light, clam juice, tomato juice. I didn't like it before, and my dislike has not subsided.  Honestly, I could never drink an entire can of this, especially a tall can.  Then again, I don't like bloody mary's, and this is the beer equivalent.  These guys love it.  Clearly there's no accounting for taste, or lack thereof.  Speaking of "no taste", it was finally time for practice....

CHEERS!

Big Year Beers #583 - 585 (or "How I Became A Middle-Aged Hipster Douche Bag")

Tony's Darts Away was a Burbank, CA dive bar that several years back transformed into an awesome establishment which serves nothing but high quality, California-only beer.  My wife & I are on a vegan diet this week (working off the 12 lbs. of beef we consumed over the weekend in Santa Ynez), so Tony's was yesterday's perfect venue to accommodate my quest for new brews, considering they not only have the choicest taps in the Valley, but they also have a decent vegan menu.  Best of both worlds.

But prior to my adventure starting, as I walked in the door I noticed all of the high tables in front were occupied by white guys in their 30s & 40s, wearing plaid & flannel shirts, sporting beards or goatees, and thick rimmed glasses. 
Were they members of the Chris Dodge Look-Alike Club, all congregating to surprise me, and treat me to unlimited pours? 
Or was I subconsciously begging to be a new member of their Hipster Craft Beer Guy Club? 
Or was this all a sad, self-realization that I fit the cookie-cutter profile of the cool beer trend demographic to a tee? 
Dammit. 

For the first time I had to admit, albeit unintentionally, I've become one of those hipster douche bags. Well, shit, I DO have a beer blog.  How overtly hipster and lame is it to have a freakin' blog?
Wasn't it Freud who identified the Five Stages Of Grief?  Well, I've already gone through Denial for years, so now I was entering Anger and Withdrawal.  Only one way to eventually move on to Acceptance... find some new beers!

Thankfully new discoveries were plentiful on the Tony's tap list.  I started with the Golden Road Better Weather IPA.  I've never heard of this one, but it's a Double IPA, solid like all of the other Golden Road IPAs, and definitely tasting like something within the scope of the other releases on their roster (that's my non-douche way of referring to "flavor profiles", a phrase which is my major pet peeve, but more on that another time). In other words, very similar to their other great IPAs.

Next up was a taster of the Kinetic Brewing Torque Session IPA.  The phrase "Session IPA" makes me a very happy man.  And for those unfamiliar, the phrase "session" refers to low alcohol content, so you can have a session of drinking all day long.  I wish more brewers were hip to this.  The Drake's Alpha Session Pale Ale is the closest I've found to this; a solid beer that won't put me into Nap Mode if I drink it in the middle of the day.  The bartender at Tony's said Kinetic has been creating some excellent beers lately.  I haven't made it up to Lancaster to check them out yet, but now I'm looking forward to it even more.

I finished with the Noble Ale Works Big Black Mariah, a dark, nutty Belgian Strong Ale.  Tasty.  At 11%, I realized I should have opted for a few of those Session IPAs, but alas, maybe it was better to stop there and actually do something constructive with my day, other than drink beer and complain about being the coverboy for the "Craft Beer Hipster Style Guide For Men"... wait, has anyone written that yet?  Maybe I'm on to something...